Wow … after I jumped, it occurred to me:

Life is perfect, life is the best. It’s full of magic and beauty … opportunity and television. And surprises. Lots of surprises, yeah.

And then there’s that stuff that everybody longs for … but they only really feel it when it’s gone. All that just kind of hit me. I guess you don’t really see it all that clearly when you’re … you know … alive.

I guess you could say my life only really started about two weeks ago. That’s when I lost my best friend Izzy … and found Eloise.

Eloise. She was something to live for and I guess that means something to die for. Some people said she was just a dumb slut, but I knew she wasn’t dumb. Whatever Eloise was or wasn’t didn’t matter to me. She was the love of my life … even though I hadn’t actually met her … yet.