Wow … after I jumped, it occurred to me:

Life is perfect, life is the best. It’s full of magic and beauty … opportunity and television. And surprises. Lots of surprises, yeah.

And then there’s that stuff that everybody longs for … but they only really feel it when it’s gone. All that just kind of hit me. I guess you don’t really see it all that clearly when you’re … you know … alive.

I guess you could say my life only really started about two weeks ago. That’s when I lost my best friend Izzy … and found Eloise.

Eloise. She was something to live for and I guess that means something to die for. Some people said she was just a dumb slut, but I knew she wasn’t dumb. Whatever Eloise was or wasn’t didn’t matter to me. She was the love of my life … even though I hadn’t actually met her … yet.

‎"I'm tired of trying to sound so cool and I'm tired of breaking all the rules on purpose. It's not worth it, we're not perfect, I like you shirtless. I'm tired of idealizing love and I'm tired of romanticizing death. I'm tired of criticizing you without enough information to be accurate."