“I was trying to date this girl who wasn’t available. We were talking hours and hours a day and sending hundreds and hundreds of texts and e-mails, and spending all this money on trips, and there would be times where I would pull away and just ask her, “Why? Why are you still calling me? Why is this still continuing?” I felt like I was conning her. There was some magic in me that was making this person question everything and continue this dance with me. During this whole ordeal I was very confident and outgoing, but in my alone time I was crying on the floor every day — and I enjoyed it, I enjoyed every second of my misery. The deeper and the darker it went, the more pleasant it felt.”

I received a letter filled with wonderful things from my pen-pal Manon of France.

Le sentiment de la chair (The Sentiment of the Flesh) -2010
Just watched one of the most disturbing movies ever. And even though she plays a creepy character in this movie, she's still really beautiful. Yep, that's a girl in the middle of surgery. Her boyfriend's the doctor performing the surgery. Her doctor/boyfriend is making out with her open wound.

I've been jamming to this for days now.

I know I can't have Melanie Laurent, but I really wish I'd find someone as lovely as she is. I watched a video of her once. It was a French interview so I couldn't understand most of what she was saying, but I sat there listening to her voice. Just wishing I could find someone like her to love and who'd love me back. She was chain smoking while being interviewed in the video. And she had dirty, messy, greasy hair and wore no make-up. She looked so beautiful. That's when I decided I would marry a French girl. 

A friend of mine is in a play called Return to the Forbidden Planet and invited me to go see it. I went tonight and had a good time. The play was made up of a lot of dancing, rock music, and Shakespeare. Weird mix, right? I haven't read much of Shakespeare's work so I didn't understand why so many people were laughing so much, but it was still very fun. At the end of they play the entire cast danced to Great Balls of Fire. My friend pulled me onto the stage to dance with her. Let me tell you, I'm a terrible dancer and so when she reached out for my hand I was going to pull away, but I decided to just get up for her. I gave her a little spin and that was that. Good times. I should probably mention that before she and I became friends I saw her across school campus one day and nudged Julie. I pointed her out and told Julie that I thought she was pretty. Next thing you know we were friends. She says that if she were a lesbian we'd probably be girlfriends, haha. Oh and I later found out that she's actually really good friends with one of my exes. Small world. That's about it. The end.

so this happened today

I still have to write five papers for my contemporary art history class. I spent the day in the library on campus. I need to find my library card so I could bring these babies home.

i still sleep under the blanket my ex girlfriend made me. we broke up eight months ago. it's about time i put it away.

Unmade Beds (2009) -Déborah François & Fernando Tielve

for you, every person is like a planet. and two different planets can never become one. two people together will always be: one plus one. i preferred to think of us as bubbles. because when they touch, they merge into one another. but i know what you meant. two people together will always be one plus one.

and also:

last night consisted of:

L'amacoeur (2010)

The Exploding Girl (2009)

I watched two movies today. L'amacoeur and The Exploding Girl. I watched one right after the other and although they're completely different, I liked both of them a lot. Maybe The Exploding Girl a little more, maybe a lot more. The way it was shot made me think of Wendy & Lucy which is another great movie. But L'amacoeur had its scenes. I've only had this Netflix for about a month, but using the shit out of it.

It's morning.

I knew a girl with green eyes once. She worked at a coffee shop all day long. After work, she'd come visit me at home. She'd lay in my bed, exhausted from work, and we'd just talk and take photos of each other. And when she'd leave, she'd leave my bed sheets smelling of delicious coffee. I really miss that.

If every morning began like this then I'd probably be one of the happiest persons I know.